Emotional Mastery for Resilient Well-Being
Truth be told, we’ve all had challenges that can trigger difficult emotions. Whether it’s a medical diagnosis, issues at work or with a relationship, financial hardships — the list can go on and on. But how we respond to the strong emotions that arise makes all the difference. Some have a natural ability to weather life’s storms with unflappability, while others find it more difficult. Join me as we explore how to master tough emotions so that self-care and building resiliency are the top priority for supporting physical and mental well-being.
Why do unpleasant emotions arise? It’s not what you may think.
When we are caught by an intense emotion, we typically don’t stop to think about the root cause of why it arose in the first place. This is why it’s important to dive into our underlying assumptions during times of calm and peace for clarity.
When we do this, we may be surprised to find that uncomfortable emotions generally rear their head when there is a contradiction between how things are and the way we think they should be. We’re wired to seek out pleasurable pursuits — and avoid those that are painful. This served its purpose well when we spent all of our time in the wilderness with the subsequent dangers. It’s commonly known as our fight or flight instinct, which can trigger a range of emotions: anger, fear, even sadness, when we feel threatened.
But this doesn’t translate well into modern life where physical danger normally isn’t an ongoing threat. Instead, our fight or flight can morph into a psychologically perceived threat to our sense of belonging and security, peace and contentment, relationships, authentic selves, and more.
Shifting Your Perspective
So how do we bridge this gap to navigate difficult emotions skillfully? To begin, we want to shift our perspective, which brings us to our first step: creating a stabilizing view.
When we experience a difficult emotion, it’s important to have a stable nervous system that will help us to shift out of survival mode to one that is socially engaged so that we can have a broader vision, see the big picture, and think more clearly.
To do this, Beth Kurland, PhD., and author of “You Don’t Have to Change to Change Everything”, recommends practicing a short mindfulness practice with the acronym ABC: acknowledge, accept, allow; bring balance; “c” (see) what is needed.1,2
Acknowledge, accept, allow. For this step, notice and name the feeling that is coming up, such as “I notice that (fear, anxiety, anger) is here”. You can also use a third-person voice to create more distance if the emotion is particularly overwhelming. This practice will help you to emotionally regulate, instead of fueling the emotion.
Next is bringing balance to your nervous system. Here you will want to embrace a mindfulness practice of your choice that calms the fight or flight response. It can be anything from deep, slow breaths or stretching to listening to calming music.
Lastly, you “C” (see) what is needed in the situation. Once you have calmed the nervous system and disrupted the flight or fight response, you can look more objectively at the issue and respond with clarity and skillfulness.
With enough practice, these techniques will become habitual and emotional regulation automatic. But there are seasons in life where you may need extra support, which is where herbal remedies can play an important role.
Lemon Balm: Nature’s Solution to Anxiety & Stress
With its bright, citrusy aroma, lemon balm is one of my favorite natural remedies for soothing the mind, body, and spirit. It’s perfect as a warm, comforting infusion on chilly days or as a refreshing iced tea during the heat of summer.
Beyond its calming effects, lemon balm supports cognitive function in those with Alzheimer’s and dementia, eases PMS symptoms, protects the heart and liver, reduces inflammation, and even helps fight cancer. It’s a wonderful botanical to keep in your herbal medicine chest!
As I wrote in “Lemon Balm: A Dose of Calm in an Uncertain World“, here are my three top uses for this herb:
Relieves Anxiety and Insomnia: Lemon balm is most famously known for easing anxiety and promoting sound sleep. It relaxes the body and mind, improves mood, and can boost intellectual performance in both children and adults. The medicinal properties of lemon balm are amplified when combined with valerian for sleep disorders. The herb also helps with ADHD and mild cases of depression.
Calms and Clarifies the Mind: Encouraging a positive outlook and increasing mental alertness, lemon balm soothes the mind and promotes clarity of thought.
Antiviral Help for Herpes, Cold Sores, and Shingles: Lemon balm is a formidable antiviral agent. It works effectively against herpes and cold sores when applied directly to the skin several times a day as an essential oil (diluted) or ointment. Taking the tincture internally—as well as applying it topically—helps to relieve shingles.
Don’t have the time to DIY? See my convenient and concentrated Lemon Balm extract in the apothecary. If you need an extra level of support, our Anxiety & Stress Blend also contains lemon balm, along with potent adaptogens that help you to navigate stress in a healthy way.
CALMS MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE
“Lemon balm is always helpful after a stress filled day at work. When I get home I feel like I’m in flight or fight mode and just tense. This calms my central nervous system by calming my fight or flight response. It helps aid in a nap after work or sleep before bed or simply just not having aggressive feelings or outbursts or frustration towards my loved ones. Basically it’s calming and soothing to those stressed out.” -Staci M.
Incorporating lemon balm into your daily routine has never been easier with our convenient formulations. Whether you’re seeking relief from daily stressors, need a natural aid for restful sleep, or looking to enhance your cognitive well-being, our Lemon Balm tincture and Anxiety & Stress Blend are here to help. Visit my apothecary today to learn more!
Safety
While generally safe, consult with your healthcare professional before using lemon balm if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or currently taking medications. Discontinue use if you experience headaches, nausea, bloating, gas, indigestion, dizziness, or allergic reactions. Since the herb can cause excessive drowsiness when combined with medications used for surgery, stop using lemon balm two weeks before a scheduled surgery. Those with thyroid disease should avoid using lemon balm as it can lower thyroid hormone levels and interfere with hormone therapy.
Nicole Apelian
Nicole’s Apothecary Products in this Post
Anxiety & Stress Tincture
Lemon Balm Tincture
References
- Kawamoto, Y., Ueno, Y., Nakahashi, E., Obayashi, M., Sugihara, K., Qiao, S., Iida, M., Kumasaka, M. Y., Yajima, I., Goto, Y., Ohgami, N., Kato, M., & Takeda, K. (2016). Prevention of allergic rhinitis by ginger and the molecular basis of immunosuppression by 6-gingerol through T cell inactivation. The Journal of nutritional biochemistry, 27, 112–122. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jnutbio.2015.08.025. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26403321/
- Ishikawa, Y., Tokura, T., Nakano, N., Hara, M., Niyonsaba, F., Ushio, H., Yamamoto, Y., Tadokoro, T., Okumura, K., & Ogawa, H. (2008). Inhibitory effect of honeybee-collected pollen on mast cell degranulation in vivo and in vitro. Journal of medicinal food, 11(1), 14–20. https://doi.org/10.1089/jmf.2006.163. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18361733/
- Mlcek, J., Jurikova, T., Skrovankova, S., & Sochor, J. (2016). Quercetin and Its Anti-Allergic Immune Response. Molecules (Basel, Switzerland), 21(5), 623. https://doi.org/10.3390/molecules21050623. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27187333/
Safety
While generally safe, consult with your healthcare professional before using lemon balm if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or currently taking medications. Discontinue use if you experience headaches, nausea, bloating, gas, indigestion, dizziness, or allergic reactions. Since the herb can cause excessive drowsiness when combined with medications used for surgery, stop using lemon balm two weeks before a scheduled surgery. Those with thyroid disease should avoid using lemon balm as it can lower thyroid hormone levels and interfere with hormone therapy.
